Sunday, January 31, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Novelist in the Making
Thomas's pre-school class is working on writing. The teacher gives leading ideas, the students finish them, and the aid does dictation. I do the translation at home.
If you give a mouse a muffin, he will: eat it up.
(He who hesitates around food in our house goes hungry)
If you give a mouse a map, he will: take his muffin some place and buy it.
(When we go shopping, we always need a map)
If you give a mouse some money, he will: try to buy the muffin.
(I just told you the mouse needed to buy the muffin. That's done with money, duh.)
If you give a mouse a mask, he will: want to clean.
(Because in our house, we wear oxygen masks to clean)
If you give a mouse a muffin, he will: eat it up.
(He who hesitates around food in our house goes hungry)
If you give a mouse a map, he will: take his muffin some place and buy it.
(When we go shopping, we always need a map)
If you give a mouse some money, he will: try to buy the muffin.
(I just told you the mouse needed to buy the muffin. That's done with money, duh.)
If you give a mouse a mask, he will: want to clean.
(Because in our house, we wear oxygen masks to clean)
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
New Adventures in Stupidity
Okay, so I posted the last post to the wrong blog, after working for days to transfer posts over here. Hoping to keep it straight.
I originally signed on to post my latest morning adventure.
Scene: Tuesday morning before preschool, Mom oversleeps.
Characters: Nora, Thomas, Dad, and Mom & Dog
Era: Preschool
Thomas: "MOMMY I AM HUNGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Mom: From a deep sleep. "Snerk, blink blink. When did you wake up?"
Dad: "He woke up with me & I'm late."
Thomas: "I WANT SOME BREAKFAST, NOW."
Nora: "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA."
Dad enters with Nora's bottle of milk.
Mom: Getting up, "So, Thomas, how do you ask for breakfast nicely?"
Thomas: "Please, may you get me three bagels to eat this morning?"
Mom: "How about 2 mini bagels with cream cheese & I'll give you a 3rd if you are still hungry."
Thomas: "Okay."
Fast Forward Past Dad Walking the Dog, Taking out the Trash, Me dressing Nora & Myself, Teeth & Hair brushing (not my own, I have a hat this morning & am lucky to find clean pants so as not to embarrass the churchgoing staff at Thomas's preschool) lunch, backpack, into the car, third bagel, etc.
Scene: Re-entering house after dropping Thomas off on a very calm trip to school. It was positive all the way around. There weren't any worries, forgotten projects, or tears. Mom was thrilled, although unbathed and very hungry for her own set of bagels, cereal, or anything not moving. Mom was thrilled to have pulled off such a nice morning in the face of the oversleeping event.
Characters: Nora & Mom & Dog
"Nora, where is the cream cheese?" View pans the kitchen counter, focuses on toaster, half a bag of mini bagels, and an empty cream cheese box. "Didn't Mommy put the organic cream cheese back in the refrigerator?"
** ORGANIC (translate: Purchased at a much higher price only because the main consumers would be the small children in the house who don't need unnecessary hormones).
Sound: Dog lapping up an ocean of water.
Mom can't find the wrapper.
Mom starts to consider park ranger warnings about the horrors of dead wildlife who were poisoned from careless campers who left wrapped food in places accessible to animals. Mom then considers dog x-rays, vet calls, consulting the internet assvice about the heinous crime she has just committed & thus doesn't deserve to have pets let alone children, & should die a horrid death by aluminum foil digestion. She calls the Dad freaking out.
Dad chuckles. "He's a dog, it'll work it's way out. Don't let it ruin your day."
I originally signed on to post my latest morning adventure.
Scene: Tuesday morning before preschool, Mom oversleeps.
Characters: Nora, Thomas, Dad, and Mom & Dog
Era: Preschool
Thomas: "MOMMY I AM HUNGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Mom: From a deep sleep. "Snerk, blink blink. When did you wake up?"
Dad: "He woke up with me & I'm late."
Thomas: "I WANT SOME BREAKFAST, NOW."
Nora: "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA."
Dad enters with Nora's bottle of milk.
Mom: Getting up, "So, Thomas, how do you ask for breakfast nicely?"
Thomas: "Please, may you get me three bagels to eat this morning?"
Mom: "How about 2 mini bagels with cream cheese & I'll give you a 3rd if you are still hungry."
Thomas: "Okay."
Fast Forward Past Dad Walking the Dog, Taking out the Trash, Me dressing Nora & Myself, Teeth & Hair brushing (not my own, I have a hat this morning & am lucky to find clean pants so as not to embarrass the churchgoing staff at Thomas's preschool) lunch, backpack, into the car, third bagel, etc.
Scene: Re-entering house after dropping Thomas off on a very calm trip to school. It was positive all the way around. There weren't any worries, forgotten projects, or tears. Mom was thrilled, although unbathed and very hungry for her own set of bagels, cereal, or anything not moving. Mom was thrilled to have pulled off such a nice morning in the face of the oversleeping event.
Characters: Nora & Mom & Dog
"Nora, where is the cream cheese?" View pans the kitchen counter, focuses on toaster, half a bag of mini bagels, and an empty cream cheese box. "Didn't Mommy put the organic cream cheese back in the refrigerator?"
** ORGANIC (translate: Purchased at a much higher price only because the main consumers would be the small children in the house who don't need unnecessary hormones).
Sound: Dog lapping up an ocean of water.
Mom can't find the wrapper.
Mom starts to consider park ranger warnings about the horrors of dead wildlife who were poisoned from careless campers who left wrapped food in places accessible to animals. Mom then considers dog x-rays, vet calls, consulting the internet assvice about the heinous crime she has just committed & thus doesn't deserve to have pets let alone children, & should die a horrid death by aluminum foil digestion. She calls the Dad freaking out.
Dad chuckles. "He's a dog, it'll work it's way out. Don't let it ruin your day."
Friday, January 1, 2010
Over Here in the New Year!
The blog has been divided & I've decided to leave the travel dialog on lettersfromhometohome.blogspot.com and the family/other personal posts to this blog. This is where I'll keep in touch and post about home, children, artwork, and the random things I find blog-worthy.
Over time, as the children allow, I will attempt to re-post entries from 2008-2009 in order. I'm reviewing content & it takes forever. Who is the wordy chick who posted a ton of photos of her kids, spelled things wrong while using spell check, and who's never figured out how to avoid a run-on sentence?
The news that necessitated this change is that I will begin a new job next week. JOB, outside of the house, NEXT WEEK. Now I have to figure out how to sync up my iPhone & laptop and remember how to dress myself more than two days a week.
Over time, as the children allow, I will attempt to re-post entries from 2008-2009 in order. I'm reviewing content & it takes forever. Who is the wordy chick who posted a ton of photos of her kids, spelled things wrong while using spell check, and who's never figured out how to avoid a run-on sentence?
The news that necessitated this change is that I will begin a new job next week. JOB, outside of the house, NEXT WEEK. Now I have to figure out how to sync up my iPhone & laptop and remember how to dress myself more than two days a week.
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